By Cheryl Kepes
Photos courtesy Reid and Fawcett families
A candid conversation about the harsh realities of kids showing livestock.
Sacrifice. Loss. Frustration. Tears. Heartbreak. These words are rarely uttered by parents when describing their child’s experience showing cattle. More often the rhetoric associated with kids raised in agriculture focuses on responsibility, work ethic, and determination.
Though those character traits are immensely important, some parents point out there are far deeper lessons learned in and out of the show ring. Lessons that shape the core of a child’s character and act as an anchor through life’s most difficult journeys.
There are endless stories, all wonderful and unique, that could be recounted on this topic. In this article, The Stockman will simply share a glimpse of two families’ experiences. The Reid family and Fawcett family graciously and honestly opened up to The Stockman, candidly sharing the hard truths and life-changing lessons that are molding their kids both now and in the future.
Life with Duke
Eight-year-old Brooklynn Reid’s bright eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and infectious smile could melt a person’s heart in an instant. She’s the oldest child of Jared and Megan Reid, owners of Reid Cattle, in Platner, Colo. This past year, Brooklynn worked with and showed her first steer, Duke. Taking on a steer project was her choice, something she wanted to try. From the day the family brought Duke home from Unger Show Cattle, there was a connection.
Though the Reids knew what to expect, they significantly underestimated the impact showing Duke would have on their family. Megan Reid described the family’s experience with Duke this way:
“Brooklynn and Duke had a bond like no other. She adored him and constantly wanted to be in the barn with him. Within a few weeks, Duke became part of our family. We started each morning with his feeds and our morning chats. We ended each day with his feeds and bedtime stories.
Our kids all fell in love with our big guy, Duke. Washing Duke was the highlight of any day. The kids loved giving him a bath, with extra soap, of course, and more Revive than was probably necessary!
Brooklynn worked hard to learn how to feed Duke his mixed ration and was always attentive to remember what she needed to do to keep him growing like he needed to. Duke and Brooklynn walked hundreds of laps around our driveway in their 10 months together. Every once in a while, they would wind up right outside our living room window just so he could peek inside.”
Letting Duke Go
As the months flew by, Brooklynn’s love for Duke swelled. In fact, the whole family was smitten. Throughout the entire process, Jared and Megan seized opportunities to share with Brooklynn about the logistics and outcome of the county fair steer show and sale. They tried to prepare her. Heck, they tried to ready themselves.
Jared and Megan are their county fair’s beef superintendents and have served in that role for almost a decade. Older kids who show steers frequent their Angus operation and mentor the Reid children. Jared showed steers when he was growing up. So, yes, they knew what was right around the corner for Duke. They are a ranching family; it was no surprise.
But what was a surprise to Jared and Megan was how little, if any, their experiences served to prepare them for their child’s heartbreak. Megan continued sharing their experience:
“Our county fair came way faster than any of us ever imagined. We had the talks about what would happen and the reasons why Duke had to be sold, but that didn’t make the day any easier.
The night Brooklynn walked Duke to the show ring for the sale was the last walk they shared. She talked to him on the walk and made sure he knew she loved him bigger than all the steers in the barn. As we took his halter off that night to say goodbye, we all shed tears. Tears of joy for a wonderful year and the most amazing bond, tears of sadness for the loss we had all just endured.”
Every member of the Reid family cried that night. Even Jared. His tears were for Duke but more for his big-hearted daughter. “That was probably one of the hardest things we have ever done as parents, to watch her sit there and cry and know that we couldn’t make it better,” Megan explained. “We did everything we could for her. We bought her a stuffed animal that looks like him, we had a special tag made for him that she got to keep, we kept his halter. We tried to do things like that to make it feel better.”
Choosing the Difficult Path
Even minutes before the steer sale, the Reids seriously contemplated buying Duke back. But the ranching parents knew in their heart the value of Brooklynn walking through adversity and healing from heartbreak. So, they let Duke go. They chose to allow their daughter to walk a difficult path, one that would give her the opportunity to build strength, resilience, and confidence.
“Our kiddos have been very blessed in their life to not have to have ever really suffered a ton of loss personally of someone super close to them. So, having this be something she has experienced does set her up to handle what life is going to throw at her, from loss to hardships,” Megan shared.
Working with Duke opened additional avenues for Brooklynn. She forged new friendships, and the Reid family connected with other show families. Jared and Brooklynn’s father-daughter bond strengthened during the hours they spent working side-by-side in the show barn. The daily discipline required to care for Duke made Brooklynn more responsible and self-confident.
If the Reids had to do it all over again, they would and so would Brooklynn. “She stepped into the barn for the first time a few days ago. That also has been hard because she hasn’t wanted to go down there and so you worry. Should we do this again? Can she handle it? She finally went back in two days ago and said, ‘We need to get this cleaned up because we are going to bring a new steer in here.’” Megan said. “The life lesson that she learned there is so much of what life is about. Life is about doing things and sometimes having to face these harder things that have to happen, but it was worth it,” Megan added.
Ivy’s Learning Day
A statement many parents implore to encourage their children is the declaration - hard work pays off. It pays off in purple banners, goals scored, or top grades earned. But what many kids aren’t told or don’t learn is sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off in the way they might want or expect.
All the effort and preparation in the world still may not get them grand champion ribbons, all-state sports honors, or class valedictorian. It’s a harsh reality. But many show parents believe if their kids learn the right perspective about hard work, it’s a lesson that will position them for even greater success in the future.
Danny and Kyla Fawcett are owners with extended family in Fawcett Elm Creek Ranch, located in Ree Heights, S.D. They appreciate the important life lessons their children, Hollis (14) and Ivy (12), learn from working with show cattle. Danny Fawcett explained it like this:
“Our family shows cattle to win, but winning is rare. It’s about the connection between hard work and the rewards. Sometimes the reward is a top prize and sometimes the reward is the pride from looking at your project and thinking how far it has come with all the hard work that has been put into it after being placed in the middle of your class.
It’s about learning hard work, spending time as a family, networking with other like-minded youth, and a level of responsibility that sets these stock show kids up to excel compared to their contemporaries at school as they enter adulthood.
Expect to win? Not in our show barn. But just like any sports coach we demand the best from our kids while doing the daily things in preparation, so that if they are lucky enough to be in the hunt for a top prize, they know they have done everything they could have to be ready.”
Real Lessons about Hard Work
The work ethic of show kids is unmatched. They invest countless hours caring for their animals before and after school, many times extra early or late because of conflicts with sports practices. Show kids’ “pre-season training” lasts for months and then it really ramps up. In the 90 days prior to show season, many kids spend long stints in the show barn, morning and night with no days off. A year of work, even longer in some cases, for the chance to compete at several shows. All the while missing out on opportunities to hang out with friends or go camping or to the lake.
So, just imagine the frustration and disappointment if all the time, work, sweat, and sacrifice seemingly failed to pay off. It happened to Ivy this summer at the Junior National Hereford Expo. Danny shared what happened that day:
“My daughter, Ivy, exhibited her heifer at junior nationals and it was a learning experience for her as she has been accustomed to success at a high level, earning a couple national banners over the last few years. But at the show she was 10th in class. A blow to her ego. A grounding that was needed for growth as a person.
In a time of watching kids throw fits with no respect for their coaches and no sense of how those fits reflect on their families, I was proud of how she handled herself. I could see the disappointment on her face as she exited the ring, but there was no throwing her show stick or throwing a tantrum.
We walked back to the stalls with few words spoken and we discussed the situation one-on-one. She was able to contain her emotions until we were alone. She was extremely disappointed after so much work spent on her project which at this point wasn’t just a project, it was a friend. She cried. I tried to make the most of this moment and the importance of not just basing her project year on winning a banner, as the real reasons for the project were unfolding in front of her eyes even though she couldn’t see it - This is a learning day.”
The Fawcetts want their kids to learn perspective about the genuine value of hard work. “What these kids gain from these projects is hard to explain. But there is no better way for them to gain an advantage over their contemporaries as they enter the workforce than the extreme highs and lows, the intense work and dedication, and the ability to see the connection between hard work and reward that livestock projects offer when in a high expectation setting,” Danny said.
Experiences like Brooklynn’s and outcomes like Ivy’s, serve to form youth into steadfast adults. They gain understanding far beyond their years. They learn on the other side of grief waits resilience and healing. They learn facing adversity builds confidence and character. They learn the blessing of hard work is less about the end prize and more about the reward of self-discipline that comes from showing up every day even when its hard.
Do kids who show livestock endure sacrifice, loss, frustration, tears, and heartbreak? Absolutely. But do they learn invaluable life lessons along the way that will guide them as they get older? Without a doubt.
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